“For He knows what we are made of, remembering that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep His covenant and remember to do His commandments.” -Psalm 103: 14-18
Basically just go read Psalm 103.
Today was my last first day of classes. EVER. I’m not going to grad school so this is it. It’s hard to wrap my mind around after going to school my whole life. It’s hard for me to imagine the continuity of a calendar year not broken up into semesters. It’s hard for me to imagine doing the same thing day in, day out for more than a few months at a time.
This morning as my roommate and I talked about it being my last first day, I reflected on how much I’ve changed since my first day of college. I laughed thinking about how I got ready that morning listening to a lineup of songs that could have been (and probably were) played on Radio Disney, much to my roommate’s horror. Don’t get me wrong, I still jam out to teenybopper music, just not exclusively. What else has changed? I wear a lot less pink. I talk less (if you can possibly believe there was a time I talked more than I do now). I eat better (again, yes, it used to be worse). I have more friends. And all those things are fun to reflect on.
But what’s more encouraging is how faithful God has been to grow and shape me over these last few years. He is merciful and does not leave us where we are, but walks with us through life and spurs us on to be the best version of ourselves. He gives us grace for the hard moments and joy in the sweet ones. I marvel at how He has changed me for the better through His word, the wisdom of others, and circumstances He has used. On my 19th birthday, I cried because I was afraid if I didn’t hurry up and meet my future husband, college was going to be a failure. I was so blinded by my insecurity that I literally thought insecurity was an inevitable part of life. I had no idea that I could choose not to believe untruth about who God created me to be. I was afraid to share my story with people because I was worried about what they would think. How good God has been to transform all of these things in my heart.
The truth is, my time on this earth is so fleeting in the expanse of eternity. But God has allowed me to enter in to His eternally significant plan to restore the earth to its intended glory. The wonder of this is that each moment of my life should be hilariously insignificant. Instead, every moment bears the weight of eternity because Jesus bridged the gap between the Father and me. He left glory and lifted us up. The first became last so that the last could become first.
As I walk through this semester full of “lasts,” I rejoice in how sweet He has made these years. And because He is faithful, I know He will be equally merciful in the next season, when the lasts are over and the firsts commence.
“And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” -Philippians 1:6